


What My Brother Never Told Me

by yourenotfree



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Season 3 compliant, its canon compliant so you all know what happened at the end of season 3, not exactly a happy ending so fair warning, this is me filling the need, we never really saw Ian and Mandy talk about the situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6275617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourenotfree/pseuds/yourenotfree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the millionth time that day, Mandy found herself at a loss for words. She knew there wasn't a thing she could say that would help. She felt useless. Here was possibly the person she loved most in the world, and she wasn't the one he needed. She wasn't even the Milkovich he needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What My Brother Never Told Me

**Author's Note:**

> I've been re watching old episodes of Shameless lately (mainly season 3, because it was a godsend) and I found myself curious if Mandy and Ian ever talked about what happened at Mickey's wedding. This fic is the product of those musings.

Mandy's mind was reeling when she made it to the chain link fence of the Gallagher house. She knew this was a terrible plan, just showing up here. Lip sure as shit didn't want to see her, and Ian...she didn't really know what to think about Ian just yet. But going home wasn't an option. Mandy didn't think she could look into her brother's empty eyes again tonight. 

Steeling herself, Mandy rapped lightly on the front door. She heard the the sound of someone twisting the lock, and then found herself face-to-face with Fiona Gallagher. She gave Mandy a weary look. "Lip's at the hospital. With Karen." 

Mandy tried not to let herself dwell on how much that felt like a hard kick to the stomach. She swallowed hard, shoving Lip and their screaming match into a locked box at the back of her mind. "I actually came to see Ian. Is he here?" 

Fiona cocked an eyebrow. She hesitated a few seconds before nodding. "Got home about an hour ago. Didn't breathe a word to me about the wedding. Something's been up with him for weeks now. You wouldn't happen to know what, would you?" 

"I think I might." 

The eldest Gallagher shook her head. "I assume you aren't going to tell me?" 

Mandy sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing nervously on it. "It's not really my story to share." 

"That's what Lip said, too." Fiona sighed tiredly. Mandy noticed that she had dark bags underneath her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. For a tiny moment, Mandy felt herself sympathize. Fiona finally stepped aside. "Go on up then." 

Mandy offered the other girl a tiny smile, and quickly moved inside the house and to the stairs. If she had turned around just then, she would've seen Fiona watching her sadly. 

The door to Ian's shared bedroom was shut tightly, without even a crack of light emitting from under the door. She stopped short, her hand on the knob. Was she really ready to face the truth? After being lied to for so long, she was suddenly more sure than ever as she pushed her way inside. 

"Ian?" She called out softly. She saw a dark shape on the nearest bed shift at the name. "It's me. Mandy." 

For a long minute, he didn't respond and Mandy thought he might be asleep. Then, "Carl passed out downstairs with Liam." 

Mandy immediately knew what this meant: it was just the two of them. 

She shifted from foot to foot. "Want me to turn on the light?" 

"No, leave it off. My, uh, my eyes hurt." 

"You had a lot to drink tonight," Mandy sat down gently at the edge of Ian's bed. She heard the covers rustling as he shifted into an upright position. "Still drunk?" 

She felt more than saw him shrug. "Probably. You?" 

"Probably." 

Another uncomfortable silence lengthened the distance that seemed to be ever-growing between the two of them. Ian cleared his throat quietly. "Do you want to talk about Lip?" She could tell from this half-hearted offer, that he knew the true reason why she had come. 

"Ian." 

He gave up the charade. "I'm sorry, Mandy." 

It slipped out his mouth so quickly that Mandy didn't know if he had meant to say it. She reached out a hand and placed it on the back of her best friend's neck, drawing him closer. "I understand why you didn't tell me. I get it." 

Ian rested his temple against her bare shoulder. "You're not angry with me?" 

She felt it again. The rage boiling in the pit of her stomach, but not because of Ian. Never because of Ian. "Not with you, no." 

He understood what she meant immediately, and stiffened like a board. "It's not his fault. I tried to pretend it was. Thought it might help if I could...if I could blame him. If I could just get myself to hate him." 

It was almost surreal to hear these words coming from Ian's mouth. To know who they were about. She was still having a hard time believing it. The way Ian was dancing around his name wasn't helping her to grasp it. 

"You don't hate him though. I heard what you said to Lip."

"I shouldn't have gone to that wedding." 

Mandy took a shuddery breath. "Ian, I want you to tell me everything." 

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know," Ian responded. He sounded hollow, and it tugged at her heart in a way that not even the break-up with Lip did. Ian was the best person she had ever known. He shouldn't have to hurt like this. Especially not because of her brother. "I think, I think it'll be nice to finally talk about it." 

"So you really never told anyone?" Mandy could appreciate how hard that must've been. Ian, who had always told Mandy everything about his life. She didn't know if she'd rather have known or not. 

Ian chuckled quietly, a short unamused laugh. "I told Lip some of it. But no one else." 

And okay, yeah, Mandy had kind of figured that out. But it chipped at another little piece of her heart. Ian hadn't trusted her enough, at least not as much as Lip. And she was supposed to be his best friend. She balled her hands up into fists. 

"Look, Ian, I didn't care when you told me that you were gay. And I don't care if," she had to force the name out, "Mickey is too. That's not what I'm struggling with. I just don't understand how this all started. Or when it started." 

Ian was shaking lightly against her neck. Mandy ran her fingers gently through his short, red hair. "It's been, like, two years, I think. Since we fucked for the first time." 

Mandy was pleasantly surprised to find that she could handle this information. It wasn't nearly as shocking to hear the words spoken aloud as she thought it would be. Maybe it wasn't as far-fetched as she had originally believed. After all, how many times had Mickey willingly hung out with her and Ian? How many times had Ian taken a suspiciously long time in the bathroom when Mickey was home. And--this one hurt to think about--how many questions about the wedding had Ian fired off with poorly concealed distress? The clues had been there the entire time.

Mandy let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding in. "You've been together for two years. Wow." 

"Not really together. Just...just fucking." He stuttered, breathing in sharply. Mandy realized she had hit a nerve. She felt bitterness rise up in her throat. 

"So when I found you two earlier, right before the wedding, were you fighting?" 

"I tried to talk him out of marrying her," Ian confided in a whisper. "And then he kissed me and I thought that was it. I thought he was going to stop the wedding. But after we fucked, he still went through with it." 

Mandy wondered for a moment what would've happened if she'd gone looking for Mickey just five minutes earlier. She knew her brother well enough to guess that the situation would've been even worse. 

She felt something wet settling into the dip of her collarbones, and came to the startling realization that Ian was crying. And Mandy didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to make it stop. She reached out, effectively collecting Ian in her arms as he buried he face even further into her neck. 

"I really, fuck, I really love h-him, Mands." The confession comes out muffled and wet with tears, but Mandy has no trouble understanding him. In her shocked silence, Ian continues. "I thought he loved me too. But even if he did, it's not enough, is it? It's never going to be enough."

For the millionth time that day, Mandy found herself at a loss for words. She knew there wasn't a thing she could say that would help. She felt useless. Here was possibly the person she loved most in the world, and she wasn't the one he needed. She wasn't even the Milkovich he needed. 

She did all she could do in that moment. She held him until he sobbed himself into an exhausted slumber, tucked him gently into bed, and placed a whisper of a kiss on the worry lines marking his forehead. 

//

Mandy walked through the front door of her house looking for a fight. Iggy was still awake, despite it being nearly three in the morning, and he looked up as his sister marched inside. She gave him a quick nod of acknowledgement. "Who else is home?" 

Iggy shrugged, turning his attention back to the late night cartoons in front of him. "Think Mickey's in his room or something. Everyone else's still at the hall getting shit-faced." 

"Why's he home then?" 

"Dunno. Threw a bunch of shit around though, so he must be in some sort of mood. Wouldn't recommend paying him a visit tonight." 

Mandy snorted. Likely. "Thanks, Ig."

She didn't hesitate even a second before she found herself throwing Mickey's bedroom door open and storming inside. She immediately spotted her dark-haired brother, head in his hands, seated at the edge of his bed. 

His head snapped up, eyes wide and rimmed with red. "The hell do you want?" He tried to sound angry, but the tiredness in his voice won out. 

"To yell, actually," Mandy snapped right back. She slammed the door shut so they were alone. "At you. Might throw a few punches if you're not careful, but we'll see how it goes." 

Mickey stood up quickly. "What the fuck are you talking about? It's been a long fucking night, Mandy." 

She was far too tired to beat around the bush the way she had with Ian. And Mickey didn't deserve to be handled with care. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm talking about Ian, you unbelievably selfish asshole." 

Mickey froze. He turned around, groping wildly for his pack of cigarettes. He lit one with trembling fingers and placed it between his lips. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, he retorted, "Gallagher? What about him?" 

Mandy flung herself at him, punching him right above his left eye with all the strength she could muster. Mickey swore loudly, clutching a hand to his split temple. "What the fuck?"

Manly was crying now. So hard, Mickey had become a blurry figure. She felt so angry that she didn't know what to say. 

"Mandy?" Mickey's voice had lost its edge. He sounded uncomfortable, and Mandy felt the sudden urge to laugh. She swallowed back the hysteria. 

"I hope he finds someone that makes him so happy, he never even looks at you again," Mandy choked out through her sobs. "You have no idea what you did to him."

Her vision cleared somewhat, and Mandy saw Mickey's face pale to a sickly white color. If he tried denying it again, she would throw another fist. 

"Look, you don't know everything," Mickey's voice was so low, she could hardly hear him. 

"I know enough," she seethed and, deciding that she'd had quite enough for one night, she spun on her heel and ran from the room. 

Behind her, Mickey sank to the floor.


End file.
